The Ballad of St. Nicholas
Come all you young children, I’ll tell you a story
About a kind man in a great sable hood.
He’ll bring you nice presents and toys you can play with
As long as you’re quiet and modest and good.
One cold Christmas night he flew down to a cottage -
He pulled on the reigns and came down on the roof.
He’d already passed over two dozen houses,
And he hoped the boys here were beyond all reproof.
Chorus:
Hurrah for Saint Nick! He’s a jolly old fellow
Who comes in the night to spread holiday cheer.
His sleigh is bright red and his reindeer unfailing,
And you’d better be good for he comes once a year.
He clambered out stodgily onto the gable
And opened his sack to pull out some more toys:
At his age and size he was getting unstable,
And he prayed to himself that he wouldn’t make noise.
For saints like old Nick have intercessory powers,
And God always lends them a fav’rable ear.
He found that his prayer helped him keep his steps quiet:
With his own saintly blessing he’d nothing to fear.
Chorus
But in that fair cottage the two boys were naughty:
They’d stayed awake after dad turned out the lights.
They planned to catch Santa as he brought their presents
And yell to surprise him and give him a fright.
They crept down the stairs and they saw Saint Nick busy:
It was a great joke, if the two would but dare:
With a shrill piercing cry they jumped out from the shadows,
And Santa was startled and lept in the air.
Chorus
When the two boys surprised him the old elf got angry.
He began to grow red as he shouted and swelled;
He told those young rascals they’d been more than naughty
And impatience and greed would condemn them to Hell.
For remember Saint Nick is here doing God’s bidding,
To ensure that young children are good and behave,
And as soon as he realized those two boys were trouble,
He told God to cast their souls into the flames.
Chorus
Now Hell, as we’re told, is beyond comprehension,
With flames that burn dark and consume not the flesh,
And sinners are piled, the one on the other
with no breath of wind that can leave them refreshed.
Those two boys lie trapped there and devils torment them.
They realize their errors and that it’s too late;
They curse their decisions and those who did tempt them,
But there’s not a thing that can alter their fate.
(slowly)
So come all you children and heed my stern warning:
Give up on your pranks and your practical jokes.
You still can avoid that tormenting eternal,
If you eat all your peas and respect your good folks.
Final Chorus:
Hurrah for Saint Nick! The jolly old rascal
Who comes in the night to spread holiday cheer.
His sleigh is bright red and his reindeer unfailing,
And you’d better be good for he comes once. . . a. . . yeeeeeeear.
W. CARPUS